I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
