All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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