i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
