please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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