If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you didnt know i had herpes?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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