$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
