Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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