its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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