Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
