the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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