Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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