just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
