Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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