the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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