he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize