Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
