my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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