I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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