I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think people are normalizing furries
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
