i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
