I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
