you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
