Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
