dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How naked do you want me to be?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
