So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
