idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
