I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize