i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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