you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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