allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
