oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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