If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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