the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
