So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
