is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
