Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
