I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
