I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Are we still banned from the library?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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