Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
