:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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