I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
