Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
