Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
