Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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(845): View more from New York

it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.

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(216): View more from Ohio

there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have suspicion of morning wood.

(281): View more from Texas

How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?

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(323): View more from California

Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips

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