Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
kristin has been a bad kristin
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
