Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
