I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
