Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
