Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
