I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just tell him i said nine months
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
