the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
