I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize