Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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