Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize