what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
