champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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