After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
