omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and she was petting her beer can
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
