sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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