i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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