It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it hurts more in the daytime
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
