I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize