you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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