If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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