I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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