thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
