lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
FUCK WHALES
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