K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
