So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
