My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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