Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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